Am I Breaking up with Coffee?!

I’m a caffeine junkie. I have no problem coming to grips with that fact. Recently, I decided to challenge myself to cut back from 5 to 6 cups of coffee a day to just one. As far I was concerned, coffee was no longer having a discernible effect on me. I could drink a cup of coffee and simply not feel any more awake. I could sip a cup of coffee less than an hour before bedtime and still have no problem crashing out. This seemed a bit problematic and counterproductive in my eyes. So I thought I’d try cutting back.

A funny thing happened. After a few days of following the new “one wakeup cup only” rule, I’d drink my extra large black Dunks coffee while sitting at my desk, and suddenly, I could feel my heart racing. I could feel the blood pounding through the veins in my temples. My stomach felt queasy and I seemed to be talking wayyyy too fast. I felt excitable, anxious, quick to get angry or flustered. “Holy crap,” I thought. “Is it the coffee? Better cut back further.” So I switched from extra large (or “The Great One,” in Dunks terminology) to just a large. OK, no methamphetamine side effects. Sweet. Then, after a few days, the feeling came back. Sweaty palms, quickened pulse, queasy stomach…the whole deal. So I cut back to a medium.

Today, I noticed the same effects after several days on the reduced ration. I’m afraid to reduce again, cos eventually this might lead down the path of quitting coffee forever. I do so love coffee. Whether it’s drip-brewed, French pressed or cajoled out of an espresso machine, the coffee bean has forever claimed a corner of my heart. Do I cut my consumption down to a small daily coffee? Will this lead to having only a weekend affair with brewed perfection, so that I can jitter, sweat and hold my belly without my coworkers wondering if I’m trying to hide a smack habit? Will I be reduced to a once-weekly sip of triple diluted java from a demitasse?

Eek. What have I done?