Am I Breaking up with Coffee?!

I’m a caffeine junkie.  I have no problem coming to grips with that fact.  Recently, I decided to challenge myself to cut back from 5 to 6 cups of coffee a day to just one.  As far I was concerned, coffee was no longer having a discernible effect on me.  I could drink a cup of coffee and simply not  feel any more awake.  I could sip a cup of  coffee less than an hour before bedtime and still have no problem crashing out.  This seemed a bit problematic and counterproductive in my eyes.  So I thought I’d try cutting back.

A funny thing happened.  After a few days of following the new “one wakeup cup only” rule, I’d drink my extra large black Dunks coffee while sitting at my desk, and suddenly, I could feel my heart racing.  I could feel the blood pounding through the veins in my temples.  My stomach felt queasy and I seemed to be talking wayyyy too fast.  I felt excitable, anxious, quick to get angry or flustered.  “Holy crap,” I thought.  “Is it the coffee?  Better cut back further.”  So I switched from extra large (or “The Great One,” in Dunks terminology) to just a large.  OK, no methamphetamine side effects.  Sweet.  Then, after a few days, the feeling came back.  Sweaty palms, quickened pulse, queasy stomach…the whole deal.  So I cut back to a medium.

Today, I noticed the same effects after several days on the reduced ration.  I’m afraid to reduce again, cos eventually this might lead down the path of quitting coffee forever.  I do so love coffee.  Whether it’s drip-brewed, French pressed or cajoled out of an espresso machine, the coffee bean has forever claimed a corner of my heart.  Do I cut my consumption down to a small daily coffee?  Will this lead to having only a weekend affair with brewed perfection, so that I can jitter, sweat and hold my belly without my coworkers wondering if I’m trying to hide a smack habit?  Will I be reduced to a once-weekly sip of triple diluted java from a demitasse?

Eek.  What have I done?

~ by schlippo on April 12, 2010.

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